Hey SlutWalkers!! Don’t forget to join us at UNDER THE UMBRELLA coffee shop THIS SUNDAY, April 7th, at 12pm to pick up some flyers to help spread the word of SlutWalk by flyering your community!! See you there and BRING A FRIEND!
Also, we want to challenge everyone to GIVE WHAT YOU CAN even if it’s $5! SlutWalk WILL NOT be possible without you! Donate here, it’s quick and easy!
Where's your coverage / blog about Corey Donahue being convicted of Unlawful Sexual Contact? Failing to include his dozens and dozens of hand-to-crotch escapades and finally being held responsible for it seems pretty "non-inclusive" when it's not even touched on here.
unfortunately, only one person runs this blog and she works 5 different jobs to make ends meet. if it hasn’t come across our dashboard or been pointed out/directed to, its likely to be missed. please, give us some links to articles and i’ll try and get something up.
I rather bitch about things... = Sorry, I just don't care about WOC. We all know that's what you're saying so you may as well have not. It's very telling that your response to those particular problems that you go 'mmm you're dividing us', just as op predicted.
not sure where you found on this blog the statement “i’d rather bitch about things.” please, point it out.
we care about women of color and are trying very hard to understand how things effect WOC differently than white women. we’re about education here, so please, educate us.
“As long as we live in a culture that tells women that being admired and desired for the way we look is merely the normal condition of womanhood, something fundamental to our sex, it will be considered acceptable to evaluate women for their decorative value. As long as it’s considered acceptable to pass public judgment on women’s bodies, often negatively — to snark on and condemn and make fun of things that are truly beyond an individual’s control — in public, then it’s open season on all of our bodies. As long as women are in competition with one another to have the “best” body, we all lose. As long as there persists a single, narrow beauty ideal we are all instructed to live up to, none of us will live up to it. This game is rigged. There will always be some critic who can tell us where we are found lacking.”—Jenna Sauers (x)
I’m all for teenagers not having sex until they’re emotionally ready and they’ve talked about safety and consent and expectations—but I don’t think adults should have sex if they don’t meet those conditions either. It’s important that adults don’t sexually exploit teenagers*—but it’s important that adults don’t sexually exploit other adults. I don’t think teenagers should see porn without context and perspective on how it compares to reality—you know how this sentence is going to end.
It’s probably true that it’s harder for teenagers to follow the rules of good sexual conduct, because of their age and inexperience (although having to do everything clandestinely and with no support system can’t help), but the rules aren’t fundamentally different for them.
“You don’t get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.”—Read this comment on an article the other day, and I thought it was kind of brilliant. (via mrsweasley)
Offensive misgendering in the following report has been corrected.
Officers arrested a Chapin man after he threatened [a trans woman] with a crowbar, sheriff’s deputies say.
According to a Lexington County Sheriff’s Department incident report, on July 8, officers responded to Sandbar Road in Chapin for a civil dispute involving a weapon.
Upon arrival, deputies spoke with the 51-year-old victim who said 48-year-old Samuel Sroufe threatened her twice with a crowbar after she refused sexual advancements from Sroufe, the report stated.
According to the report, the first incident occurred while the victim was in the kitchen. The woman said when she looked out the window she saw Sroufe waving a crowbar and displaying a slashing motion across his throat, indicating that he was going to kill the 51-year-old transgender woman, the report stated.
Deputies say a short time later, the victim went outside to sit on the porch and Sroufe came around the corner charging at her with the crowbar.
The victim told officers at this point she was afraid for his life, so she got up and began running around a table that was outside, keeping distance between her and Sroufe, the report stated.
While fleeing from Sroufe, the victim was able to contact law enforcement.
Deputies say before they arrived Sroufe dropped the crowbar and fled the area on foot.
After a search of the surrounding area, officers were able to locate Sroufe attempting to hide in a neighbor’s yard, the report stated.
Deputies say Sroufe was grossly intoxicated. Sroufe was arrested on charges of second-degree assault and battery and public disorderly conduct.
It’s going to be hot, as standard this summer, so please bring lots of water and sunscreen! We’re starting right at Noon with Suzi Q. Smith, so get there to hear her! And stay to hear Dominique Ashaheed and LadySpeech Sankofa!
If anyone is interested in helping out tomorrow, please show up to the Greek Theater at 11:30am and we’ll have a small meeting.
“Slut-shaming collapses the complexity of another person onto a single dimension. But even more so, given how slut-shaming is used to control and shame all women regardless of their sexual practices or desires, it conflicts directly with respecting them. If you say that you respect women, then you need to respect all women, no matter how many sexual partners she has, her relationship choices, or how she enjoys sex. Otherwise, you’re saying that that your respect is something that someone has to buy. I don’t think that that’s really respect at all.”—If You Don’t Respect Sluts, You Don’t Respect Women
“I think we can all recognize that the “it’s a joke excuse” is the most dismissive, self-righteous loophole, created by those who refuse to examine their power, and assume they have not only the right to say whatever they want to people, but the right to control how other people react to what they have said.”—Loose Talk (via lavenderlabia)
“(TW: rape) Dr. Menachiam Amir, an Israeli criminologist, and the National Institute of Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice studied rapists in Philadelphia between 1958 and 1960. He found the median age of the Philadelphia rapist was 23 but the largest age group among rapists was the 15-19 year olds. Amir found most rapists were unmarried, however that could be due to their young age. He also found that the older the rapist the younger the victim. According to Amir most rapists were at the lower end of the economic scale and about half had previous arrest records. However, few of their prior arrests were for sex offenses. Amir also found that more than half the rapes took place on the weekends with Saturday being the peak day. Again almost half were committed between 8:00 P.M. and 2:00 A.M. Further, approximately 71% of the rapes were planned. The choice of victim was often left to chance and circumstance, but the rapist set out to rape someone. Planning is even more prevalent in pair or gang rapes.”—
Cohen, Marcia & McKenna H. Sherrie. Rape: Psychology, Prevention & Impact.Yale-New Haven Teachers Institute.
71% of rapes were planned.
Even for the circumstantial ones, the rapist set out already having it in mind to rape some one.
Sometimes rape survivors feel terribly guilty about feeling turned on during the rape, or when remembering the rape. Feeling turned on is a pretty common reaction and makes a lot of sense when you consider that for people with vulvas, being turned on might mean producing lubrication, which protects your body from further injury, and for people with any kind of genitals, being turned on is just something that sometimes happens when you’re touched in certain ways. In the cases of repeated rape, being turned on when it happens might make it easier for you to survive the violence. Being turned on does not mean that you wanted to be raped, or “asked for it” or deserved it. If you did not consent and there was not a safe word/some way for you to just make it stop, then it was rape. Whether or not you were turned on and whether or not you had previously or after the rape had sex with that person or anyone else.
Here’s a link about sexual arousal during rape: http://www.pandys.org/articles/arousalandassault.html. (WARNING: Part of the page wrongly assumes that a woman is of course the survivor and a man is the rapist, and some of the page is cissexist and slut-shaming, unfortunately :( )The first part of the page says:
A sexual response or orgasm in the course of sexual assault is often the best-kept and most deeply shameful secret of many survivors. If you are such a survivor, it’s essential that you know that sexual response in sexual assault is extremely common, well-documented and nothing for you to be ashamed of.
Let’s have a look at what researchers and helping professionals say about sexual arousal and sexual assault:
Rape and Sexual Arousal:
Aphrodite Matsakis writes about sexual arousal or orgasm in rape: ”Before you chastise yourself for one more minute, remember that your sexual organs do not have a brain. They cannot distinguish between a mauling rapist and the gentle touch of a lover. They simply react to stimulation the way they were physically designed to respond. If you climaxed or had some other sexual response to the rape, this does not mean that you enjoyed it.” (1992, p.73)
And it isn’t just about you and the way your body responded either. It may also have been one of the repertoire of dirty tricks rapists use to get their victims to feel responsible. Diana Russell writes that “Some rapists think they’re lovers” and tells us: (These rapists) think that if a woman is stimulated in ‘just the right way’ she will enjoy it. The conquest may seem more important if the rapist believes he has turned the woman on physically, particularly if it is against her will. Getting the victim to respond physically may also alleviate the rapist’s guilt feelings (1975, p.110).
So, whether your body had a spontaneous response, or whether it was deliberately induced by the rapist, it doesn’t mean that you asked to be raped or liked it. It was not your fault.
I know many people want to learn about non-hormonal options for birth control. This could be a great place to start.
In ARHP’s introduction, they write
Knowledge is power, and it’s important for women and health care providers to be aware of the seven most effective contraceptive methods available in the US: tubal occlusion or ligation, vasectomy (for men), transcervical sterilization (Essure® micro-inserts), two reversible IUDs (Mirena® and Paragard® “Copper-T”) and a reversible implant (Implanon®). Most of these methods are hormone-free, although Mirena and Implanon do contain hormones. Other non-hormonal methods such as barrier and fertility-based awareness methods (Standard Days® and many others) also can be effective if they are used correctly and consistently, which often hinges on appropriate counseling and education. In the case of these less-effective methods, the guiding principle is that use of any method is better than use of no method at all, with its attendant 85 percent risk of unintended pregnancy.7
You know what, I think the misfortune of a few individuals is enough to invalidate an entire culture of entitlement and disregard towards women’s bodies. I think consent is too tricky to obtain every time I have intercourse. I think rape is just a term women use to describe their buyers remorse when they realize they’ve been slutty and they don’t want their catty friends to judge them for being sluts. I think rape is a concept that oppresses men, because it presumes that women can say no, when everyone knows that, for real women, no means yes. I would rather shame all rape victims into silence on account of a few people who lied because I am scared that someone might accuse me of rape, which would ruin my life, but I’ve never really given much thought to how being raped might ruin someone’s life. I think rape accusations are a way of women exercising tricky women power over men, even though the justice system regularly under convicts rape, in the small proportion of cases that are reported. I think it is ok to rape if you dont get caught. I think a mans right to stay out of prison is more important than a woman’s right not to be raped. I do not care about rape victims as much as I care about rapists. I am a rape apologist.
“While girls abused by men or rejected by boys are heavily pressured not to “hate all men”, boys abused by women or rejected by girls are encouraged to blame us all for it. Some of these boys eventually work out that not all women are like the ones who hurt him, but usually not until they’re well into their twenties.”—by JENNIFER KESLER on SEPTEMBER 27, 2010 (Young men getting more sexist?)
When a Toronto police officer said women could avoid being sexually assaulted if they didn’t dress like “sluts”, we were angry but not surprised. Sun News now reports on a Muslim street cleric spouting the same beliefs - that women are responsible for being sexually assaulted because of what they wear and they need to be told what to do by men who know better. People with these beliefs continue to show a deep disrespect towards victims and a lack of understanding in how many sexual assaults actually take place - that they’re most often committed by someone known to the victim and someone a victim previously trusted, that victims of all genders are most often under the age of 18 when they’re assaulted, and that clothing actually has no bearing on someone’s safety from sexual violence.
Sun News wanted an interview from us concerning this issue, asking, “Will SlutWalk Toronto denounce this Muslim preacher?” This question shows a lot of ignorance and comes from the same media source that published views rife with victim-blaming and slut-shaming, likening women to “deer” and men to hunters, suggesting as long as a man knew a woman was actually a ‘slut’ he could rape her and she ‘asked for it’. Sun News has shown no accountability to this, or to publishing transphobic ads last year. We’re understandably angry at the Sun and declined their interview letting them know why. Sun News has shown they don’t like to listen or be accountable to what they say, no matter how uninformed. It seems that Sun Media and this preacher have a lot in common.