Hey everyone! Check out SlutWalk Denver’s 2013 Promo Video!
Share it with your friends!!
SlutWalk Denver welcomes everyone of all genders, races, classes and backgrounds. If we are failing to be inclusive, please let us know how to be more inclusive.
Hey everyone! Check out SlutWalk Denver’s 2013 Promo Video!
Share it with your friends!!
Sometimes rape survivors feel terribly guilty about feeling turned on during the rape, or when remembering the rape. Feeling turned on is a pretty common reaction and makes a lot of sense when you consider that for people with vulvas, being turned on might mean producing lubrication, which protects your body from further injury, and for people with any kind of genitals, being turned on is just something that sometimes happens when you’re touched in certain ways. In the cases of repeated rape, being turned on when it happens might make it easier for you to survive the violence. Being turned on does not mean that you wanted to be raped, or “asked for it” or deserved it. If you did not consent and there was not a safe word/some way for you to just make it stop, then it was rape. Whether or not you were turned on and whether or not you had previously or after the rape had sex with that person or anyone else.
Here’s a link about sexual arousal during rape: http://www.pandys.org/articles/arousalandassault.html. (WARNING: Part of the page wrongly assumes that a woman is of course the survivor and a man is the rapist, and some of the page is cissexist and slut-shaming, unfortunately :( )The first part of the page says:
A sexual response or orgasm in the course of sexual assault is often the best-kept and most deeply shameful secret of many survivors. If you are such a survivor, it’s essential that you know that sexual response in sexual assault is extremely common, well-documented and nothing for you to be ashamed of.
Let’s have a look at what researchers and helping professionals say about sexual arousal and sexual assault:
Rape and Sexual Arousal:
Aphrodite Matsakis writes about sexual arousal or orgasm in rape:
”Before you chastise yourself for one more minute, remember that your sexual organs do not have a brain. They cannot distinguish between a mauling rapist and the gentle touch of a lover. They simply react to stimulation the way they were physically designed to respond. If you climaxed or had some other sexual response to the rape, this does not mean that you enjoyed it.” (1992, p.73)
And it isn’t just about you and the way your body responded either. It may also have been one of the repertoire of dirty tricks rapists use to get their victims to feel responsible. Diana Russell writes that “Some rapists think they’re lovers” and tells us:
(These rapists) think that if a woman is stimulated in ‘just the right way’ she will enjoy it. The conquest may seem more important if the rapist believes he has turned the woman on physically, particularly if it is against her will. Getting the victim to respond physically may also alleviate the rapist’s guilt feelings (1975, p.110).
So, whether your body had a spontaneous response, or whether it was deliberately induced by the rapist, it doesn’t mean that you asked to be raped or liked it. It was not your fault.
When a Toronto police officer said women could avoid being sexually assaulted if they didn’t dress like “sluts”, we were angry but not surprised. Sun News now reports on a Muslim street cleric spouting the same beliefs - that women are responsible for being sexually assaulted because of what they wear and they need to be told what to do by men who know better. People with these beliefs continue to show a deep disrespect towards victims and a lack of understanding in how many sexual assaults actually take place - that they’re most often committed by someone known to the victim and someone a victim previously trusted, that victims of all genders are most often under the age of 18 when they’re assaulted, and that clothing actually has no bearing on someone’s safety from sexual violence.
Sun News wanted an interview from us concerning this issue, asking, “Will SlutWalk Toronto denounce this Muslim preacher?” This question shows a lot of ignorance and comes from the same media source that published views rife with victim-blaming and slut-shaming, likening women to “deer” and men to hunters, suggesting as long as a man knew a woman was actually a ‘slut’ he could rape her and she ‘asked for it’. Sun News has shown no accountability to this, or to publishing transphobic ads last year. We’re understandably angry at the Sun and declined their interview letting them know why. Sun News has shown they don’t like to listen or be accountable to what they say, no matter how uninformed. It seems that Sun Media and this preacher have a lot in common.
TW - rape, rape culture, rape apologism
A teenage boy who raped a girl of five was handed a community order by a judge who blamed ‘the world and society’ for his exposure to pornography.
wait but the MRAs told me that prosecuting men for rape is like a slam dunk for the prosecution. some woman makes an accusation and a man is carted off to jail. but, oh wait, a dude raped a 5 year old girl and not a minute of jail time. quality.
also, they need to stop calling him a “boy”. he’s 15 fucking years old and he raped a child.
TW - sexual assault, rape, forced sterilization, systemic abuse, racism
So I’m sure I’m being divisive now or something, but with all this talk of solidarity from white feminists where exactly are the marches & letter campaigns backing up women who are indigenous & facing higher rates of sexual assault? Where are the big well funded campaigns against abuses of documented & undocumented migrant workers? I hear a lot about misogyny in hip hop, but nothing about racialized misogyny in rock, metal, or country. Well except for the stuff I’m writing & other WOC are writing, but we’re not white. Where’s the outpouring of support for WOC who were forcibly sterilized and are now seeking compensation in North Carolina or the 31 other states with eugenics programs?
Where are the calls for better access to resources for poor WOC & their children? Or the calls to respect the bodily autonomy & boundaries of WOC? I can find 747375375 articles about choice feminism, but I spent this week arguing with people who wanted to tell me to appreciate the “beauty” of a picture of an enslaved black woman breastfeeding her future owner. White women are declaring they want Afros, but they aren’t fighting for the right of black women to wear their hair the way it grows out of their heads in the workplace. Or listening when we say that touching our hair is unacceptable behavior. No one’s talking about supporting young mothers of color so that they can feed & raise their children as they see fit. Instead the choice conversation is increasingly about abortion as though that is the only choice that needs support.
Where is the media push supporting the right of trans women of color to exist & defend themselves? When we talk about body acceptance movements, where’s the acceptance for different skin colors? Different hair types? With all the discussion of topless activism is there a point where we talk about the depiction of the bodies of WOC in the media & how we’re sluts from birth no matter what we’re wearing? Do we get a discussion going in these feminist think tanks about the value of the work done by WOC & how their labor (physical & intellectual) is co-opted & commodified for the benefit of others? When we talk about sex positive feminism do we talk about the fetishization of bodies of color by white feminists & how problematic that is? Where’s the conversation about racism in feminism?
Oh right, these conversations are happening all the time. Just not between white feminists unless it can feather someone’s pockets. In fact these discussions are apparently valueless as long as WOC are having them with each other. But then, according to some people all women are white & the rest of us aren’t even real women. We’re supposed to show up for Slut Walks, support Felicia Day, & yet no one’s out here stomping for Rekia Boyd, Aisha Tyler, hell we can’t even get a good conversation going about sexual assault statistics for WOC under 18. So, tell me again how WOC should think of you as sisters in the struggle?
NOTHING WAS STOLEN FROM YOU.
Your body is not a hand-me-down
There is nothing that sits inside you holding your worth,
no locket that can be seen or touched, sucked from your stomach and left on the concrete
And I know sometimes it’s hard to feel perfect
when you can’t tell an adam’s apple from a fist
because some ashtray of a man forced you to play his eden.
but I will not
Sierra DeMulder // Paper Dolls (via lilac-hour)
actually sobbing over this poem
TW: Rape, Sexual Abuse
Don’t Deport Blanca Medina!
Blanca Medina came to the United States with her four-year-old daughter, Alejandra, to seek refuge after being raped five times in El Salvador, where she is from.
She missed a hearing to apply for protection because of medical problems from being raped, including psychological trauma, and didn’t file a motion to open her case within 180 days after her missed court date.
Now, the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement wants to deport her, despite the fact that none of her rapists have been arrested, including her stalker, and she would be in extreme danger. Medina tried to explain this to Immigration and Customs Enforcement, but they are still continuing with deportation proceedings. While her case is in the processing stage, she is in a detainment center away from her daughter.
Please tell the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement not to deport Blanca Medina, and to change their policy so that this does not happen again!
Kirby Dick’s The Invisible War has moved the US secretary of defence, Leon Panetta, to announce changes in policy towards the prosecution of rape in the military.
Stacey May Fowles, The Fantasy of Acceptable “Non-Consent”: Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us (and Why She Shouldn’t)
Holland, Jack. A Brief History of Misogyny: The World’s Oldest Prejudice. Constable & Robinson. 2006. (pg. 234-235)
Emily Maguire, Princesses & Pornstars: Sex, Power, Identity. (via starsgowaltzing)
Tell Republicans and anti-choice Democrats in the House: Don’t block abortion access for raped soldiers
According to Kate Sheppard’s report in Mother Jones,2 there are 200,000 women serving on active duty in our military and in 2011 alone there were 471 reported instances of rape. But with the Pentagon itself estimating that only 13.5% of rapes are officially reported, that means around 3,500 service members are raped per year.
Women who are serving on military bases abroad can’t simply go to their local Planned Parenthood should they seek an abortion after finding themselves pregnant as a result of rape. And if there hasn’t been a formal finding of rape, a rape survivor in the military can’t even pay to have the procedure done in the medical facility on base. Many women serving in our armed forces are stationed in foreign countries where safe abortion care is not easily obtained outside our military bases. And it may not be possible or affordable for a raped woman soldier to travel to the United States in order to receive the care she needs. Our policies need to be reformed to ensure that women in the military who have been raped have access to the medical care they need.